It’s okay, just try to breathe and remember why you want to recover. Remind yourself that you’re worth more that another mark on your skin! I want to you get out a piece of paper and write at least one thing you like about yourself. It could be your handwriting, your hair, that you’re a good listener, - anything! Write one thing that you like about yourself.
Now clutch that paper tight to your fucking chest and breathe knowing that you do this one thing the absolute best you can. You are the only person with this one thing written down - no one else shares your talent, features, or aspects. Keep holding on to that paper, that one thing that you love about yourself, and remind yourself that you love you. You don’t want to hurt something(someone) you love right? Well then apply that to yourself! Love yourself enough to keep yourself safe.
I hope this helps some! I care about you so much and I’ve been where you are so many times. I’m not even fully over that hill in my life yet - but it’s people like you , people who aren’t afraid to reach out for help - that gives me purpose in life.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
Aww, I’m so happy I could help you through those times! I’m really proud of you as well for staying strong - I know how hard life can kick you when your down.
Staying on that road to recovery is pretty tough… I think first it’s best to understand that it’s not really a road - it’s more of a direction (North, South, East, West… so to speak). Recovery at times can be messy and we may relapse or fall - but getting up and facing forward is key! What’s most important is to let yourself take whatever time you need to take! Everyone’s journey is different and there is NO set way or time limit that you need to follow. As long as you’re facing that one direction at the end of the day - as long as you know you can at least take one step - then you’re still recovering. I can’t count the number of times I’ve relapsed, hell I still relapse even now. But I can tell you that each time I did, I tried to remember my long term goal - I want walk this damn journey. I want to witness every mile, every hill, every smooth countryside, each scary new place, all of it! I want to see it all! It’s hard to remind ourselves that our lives are worth something. -Believe me, I know. But once you realize that you’re human - that you deserve a life - that you deserve your life, and how you want to live it… I promise you it’s the most refreshing feeling of relief out there.
In short, just keep moving forward. If you fall - that’s okay, just try to pick yourself up or ask for help (there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that). Just keep your heart set on recovering and knowing that in time, you’ll realize that it’s worth it. You’ll finally realize, "Goddamn… I’m fucking alive!.” and it will be amazing.
Thank you so much for your kind words. As always, message me if ever you need anything, okay?